


Knight Lessons

by purple_bookcover



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Lovers To Enemies, M/M, ashelix - Freeform, ashelix because all i write is ashelix, mature rated for violence, this is not gonna be a happy story, you shouldn't be surprised anymore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-20
Updated: 2019-11-20
Packaged: 2021-02-18 02:36:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21503821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purple_bookcover/pseuds/purple_bookcover
Summary: Ashe and Felix find themselves on opposite sides of the battle at the Tailtean Plains. It's not the reunion either of them was hoping for.
Relationships: Ashe Duran | Ashe Ubert/Felix Hugo Fraldarius
Comments: 8
Kudos: 63





	Knight Lessons

**Author's Note:**

> SPOILERS: Black Eagles route
> 
> This is not gonna be a happy story. Buckle up.
> 
> There's fan art of this fic?!??!? And it's fucking gorgeous. Linked at the end b/c spoilers.

They expected Edelgard. What they didn't expect, what they prayed to avoid, was Felix.

Ashe watched the army marching across the Tailtean Plains, red as dawn cresting the horizon. Edelgard's forces seeped over the barren fields like a bloodstain, their banners flapping in the cool winds of the north. The trickle of sunlight struggling to warm the sky glinted off spears and armor. 

"Do you see him?"

Dimitri stood beside Ashe on the crumbling ramparts. The ruins of some former kingdom provided a convenient base for Dimitri's army, as well as a high vantage point over the plains themselves. 

"Not yet," Ashe said. 

Dimitri waited beside him. He did not leave even as Dedue and Ingrid and Sylvain led battalions to the forefront of the battle, blue clashing against red to turn the Tailtean Plains into a swirl of color. The screams rose like a murder of crows, no less horrible for the distance that muffled them. Still, Dimitri stayed. 

And there along the western flank, he appeared. 

Edelgard's forces had managed to advance little when faced with Dimitri's army. Except in the west, where soldiers in red surged against the kingdom's final defense. Flashes of blue sparked like lightning strikes, quick bursts that were always followed by screams. 

"There," Ashe said. 

"It's him?" Dimitri said. He squinted his one eye, but Ashe knew the distance made it difficult for him. "Are you sure?"

Ashe's stomach twisted. "Yes." 

Dimitri put a hand on Ashe's shoulder. "Are you ready?"

Ashe nodded, his mouth going dry. 

"There may yet be another way," Dimitri said. 

Ashe shook his head. "I will go." 

"Very well," Dimitri said. He gave Ashe's shoulder a squeeze. "We are with you."

Ashe nodded, then he set off, hurrying through the ruins and to the enclosure where his horse Pan was grazing. His bow and sword waited on her saddle. She snorted and stamped when he led her from the pen and onto the battlefield. 

He stood as he rode, his bow in hand, picking off enemies. Annette and Mercedes hurled magic from the back lines. He soon surpassed them, rushing into an area where Sylvain and Ingrid twirled like twin scythes sweeping away grass. Their spears slashed a path through the enemy forces that Ashe flew through in a flash. Beyond, Dedue labored on the front lines, his great axe cleaving a path. Ashe shot a man trying to sneak around behind him before charging onward. 

Then he reached the western edge of the battle, where a red swell threatened to overtake Dimitri's forces. Ashe launched arrows over his allies and into the enemy lines. His quiver grew sparse as he kept firing from Pan's back, yet the surge did not recede. 

A flash of blue lit the cold, gray, grisly morning and Ashe saw his allies swept away in a flurry of lightning and sword strikes. A gasp of empty space opened before him.

Felix stood in it, his sword bloody, lightning still crackling along his arm. 

Ashe reached for an arrow, but found his quiver depleted. Still, Felix did not charge. Gore flecked his face and splattered across his body, yet the swordsman hesitated. 

Ashe swung down off Pan. He tossed his useless bow aside, unsheathing the sword on his saddle. Then he stepped through the horrible emptiness toward Felix. 

"You can't win that way," Felix said. 

Ashe paced toward him, sword in hand. 

"Why did you come here?" Felix said. "Why you?"

Ashe raised his sword. 

#

It felt heavy and awkward in his hands. Holding a sword, Ashe discovered, was nothing at all like holding a bow. When he picked up a bow, he could have been simply extending his own arms. But the practice sword was clumsy and big and unwieldy in a way Ashe hadn't experienced even when first learning to use a bow. 

"You're holding it wrong." 

Ashe hadn't heard anyone enter the training room, but when he turned he found Felix striding toward him, still wearing his school uniform despite the late hour. He looked like he'd been planning to train but now he paused and evaluated Ashe coolly, hands on his slim hips. 

"How do I hold it then?" Ashe said. 

Felix sighed, shaking his head. "What are you doing here so late? Why a sword?"

"A good knight has to be trained in multiple weapons," Ashe said. "And everyone else uses swords, so it seemed like the logical choice. Plus, then I can fight far away or up close." 

"Well, if you're going to do it, do it properly."

Felix stepped close and put his hands over Ashe's, adjusting his grip on the weapon. Ashe nearly recoiled. Felix had never touched him before, or anyone else, as far as Ashe could tell. But his hands were sure and strong and rough from callouses. Whatever he did instantly made the sword feel lighter.

"How did you do that?" Ashe said. 

"Swords are about balance," Felix said. He unsheathed the weapon at his hip and balanced the blade on two fingers placed just before the hilt. It settled after a moment, perfectly poised. Felix resheathed the sword, glaring at Ashe. "Why are you staring at me like that?"

"That was amazing," Ashe said. "Can you teach me?"

"Teach you?"

"Please," Ashe said. "You're the best swordsman I've ever met."

"Make Byleth teach you."

"But I want to learn from you." Ashe felt color rise in his cheeks the moment he said it. "I mean, I want to learn how to be a knight."

"Why?"

"So I can help people." 

Felix's glare moved to his shoes. He shifted from foot to foot and Ashe's stomach sank. He'd admired Felix pretty much from the moment he'd met him. Felix was everything Ashe dreamed of becoming: Strong, brave, knight-like in every way. But he'd never actually said it out loud, especially not to Felix himself. Ashe braced for anger or admonition or just for Felix to flee the awkward situation altogether. 

"Fine."

Ashe blinked. "Huh?"

"Fine," Felix snapped. "I'll teach you. But you'd better be prepared to work hard. I won't go easy on you." 

Ashe nodded, his breath stolen away. 

"Fix how you're standing," Felix said. 

#

Ashe adjusted his stance, raising the sword. He stood solid and firm, yet poised lightly enough to retreat should Felix advance. Felix merely watched him across the battlefield of the Tailtean Plains, his sword limp at his side. 

"Turn around," Felix said. "Leave."

"I can't do that," Ashe said. 

Felix grimaced. In the five years since Ashe had last seen him, Felix looked like he'd done a lot of grimacing. His face was thinner than Ashe remembered, his cheeks more hollow. The lines under his eyes cut hard planes across his face. His long hair was bound up behind him, stray strands falling loose across his forehead.

"Anyone else," Felix said quietly. "Send anyone else." 

"You have to fight me, Felix, if you want to continue this madness." 

"It isn't madness."

"Then explain it," Ashe said. When had he started screaming? "Why did you go? What are you doing?"

"Do you really prefer following a mad boar to your death?" Felix shot back. "Is his way truly better? They don't even see that they're being manipulated. All our lives, all our lives, they've hated crests. They've hated this whole system. Yet when they were given the chance to break it I was the only one willing to go. For all their talk, how much can they really despise this world that gave them so much power if they're willing to defend it?" 

"Dimitri will change things when he's king," Ashe said.

"Do not speak to me of Dimitri and his 'change,'" Felix spat. "He is a rabid beast and nothing more." 

Felix seethed, his amber eyes glinting with a mad rage. Ashe's heart sank, his final, desperate thread of hope snapping.

"You're better than them, Ashe," Felix said. "Join me. Edelgard would welcome you. You don't need to serve them anymore. Please."

Ashe stood his ground, gripping his sword. He unsheathed a dagger with his free hand for added defense. 

Felix’s anger coiled into despair. "Please," he said again, a final plea.

Ashe shook his head.

The moment hung like a held breath. Felix studied the ground. Then, slowly and horribly, he unsheathed a dagger. 

#

Felix held the sword and dagger before him, their tips angled toward each other like a V. 

"Like this?" Ashe said, positioning his own weapons. 

Felix lowered his defense and walked across the training room in Garreg Mach. He adjusted Ashe's arms. "There," he said. "And loosen your grip a little. You want to hold hard enough to hang on, but not so hard that you can't control the tip." 

He stepped back, evaluating Ashe's pose. It had only been a few weeks of their nightly training sessions, but Felix had to admit, Ashe was a quick learner. He was picking up the footwork especially easily, so Felix decided to challenge him with a combined sword and dagger defense. 

Felix raised his own weapons again. "Ready?"

Ashe nodded. 

Felix stepped. Ashe immediately retreated. That was a habit that would need breaking. For now, though, Felix kept up the attack, getting into range and testing his sword against Ashe's defense. Ashe did well enough with the sword, but once Felix slipped inside his range, he was useless with the dagger. 

Felix paused with his sword tip against Ashe's chest. "You could have stopped that if you used the dagger better. It's for close range. Plus, you're short, so you'll need it to get in close." 

They tried a few more passes. Ashe gradually used the knife more and more, beating Felix's sword aside when he got in range. 

"Not bad," Felix said while Ashe panted from a particularly vigorous exchange. His freckled cheeks were flushed from exertion, his green eyes bright. Felix cleared the lump suddenly in his throat, looking at Ashe's weapons rather than his face.

They danced through another pass, but this time, Felix pushed Ashe's sword far out of range, forcing him to grapple with the dagger. As Ashe moved to defend, Felix tangled his dagger in Ashe's. He twisted down, turning Ashe's dagger and arm, then used the momentum to trap Ashe's arm around his back. Felix stood behind him, pressed against Ashe, his sword at his throat. Ashe's hair was in his face. Felix could feel Ashe's back heave against him as he strained for breath. 

Felix swallowed. "That's... a special move," he said. 

"Oh," Ashe said. The single word hung like a sigh.

"It's..." Felix had to shake himself. "It's to disarm your opponent." 

He lingered there, not knowing what to say, not comprehending why his blood was racing through his veins. Felix felt more out of breath than at any point during their sparing. Ashe's back kept pushing against him as he panted. 

Ashe twisted suddenly. The daggers moved; Ashe's blade made a tight circle that wrenched Felix's wrist. And now it was Felix who was trapped, his dagger and wrist forced downward. Ashe faced him head on, controlling his blade, his chest nearly pressed against Felix's. Bright green eyes peered up at Felix, but it was not the heat of battle that lit them. 

Their weapons fell. Ashe's hands were cautious on Felix's chest when he got on his tip toes to kiss him. It was awkward and strange and soft and Felix didn't even have the decency to close his eyes and look away. Silver hair and freckles filled his vision. He dared not pull away.

When Ashe withdrew, Felix held his arms to keep him close. Now that he'd felt and smelled him so near, he found he could not simply let Ashe leave. 

"Why?" Felix hated himself for asking, but couldn't silence the thought. Aside from sword lessons, Felix could not fathom what he had to offer this bright, soft, wonderful creature. Ashe didn't need to put up with him, yet here he was, flushed, staring up at Felix with a look that wrenched Felix's heart and threatened to stop his breath. 

Ashe laughed. "Really? I thought it was obvious. I like you." 

Felix shook his head. "Why?"

#

In five years, Felix had never found an answer. But for a few blissful, stumbling moons back at the monastery, he'd stopped asking. They'd been stupid kids, stupid kids who didn't know how to kiss or wage war or cope with a world shattering into a million pieces all around them.

But they were children no longer. 

The man Felix faced on the battlefield hardly resembled the blushing classmate he'd given sword lessons to. Ashe nearly matched him in height. His face was thinner, harder, his eyes less wide and wondering. And his sword, when Felix met it, did not waver. 

Ashe met Felix's strikes, deftly batting Felix's blade aside. Back when he'd taught him, Felix had always worked with a height advantage. Now, Ashe mirrored him. 

For all his lack of experience compared to Felix, there was one thing Ashe had that no one else in the world possessed: He knew Felix. He knew his mind, his body, the way he moved, the way he thought, his favorite footwork. And, Felix realized as they fought, Ashe remembered every single detail. 

Felix lunged. Ashe used his sword to guide Felix's harmlessly aside. Felix swept in with his dagger, trying to get into a closer range, but Ashe danced back a step. They reset and Felix swung in a wide, clumsy arc. Ashe used sword and dagger in tandem to add momentum to the wild swing and send Felix off balance. 

Ashe wasn't attacking, Felix realized. He simply kept matching and dodging and there was absolutely nothing Felix could do to get through his tight defense. 

"Why?" he'd asked back then, back when they were students, children. 

"I like you," Ashe had said. And for the first time in Felix's life, he believed it. There was nothing extra, no undertone, no hidden message, no trauma to unravel, no secret boon to gain. Felix had nothing to give him. He simply was. And for some reason, that's what Ashe liked about him. 

He'd considered asking Ashe to join Edelgard's cause with him, but he knew Ashe would never betray his friends. As surely as Felix had to go, Ashe resolved to stay. 

"Why you?" Felix growled as he struck. Ashe absorbed the blow. "Why you?" Felix shouted with each strike, his sword flying madly. 

Ashe managed to keep meeting the strikes, but Felix could see him getting weary. His precise footwork lagged just a little. His sword dipped between blows, looking heavier and heavier the longer he kept pace with Felix. 

Ashe was losing. They both knew it. Felix pressed, sweeping his sword with more power than necessary to push Ashe to absorb the force. Ashe raised his dagger, relying on the lighter weapon as his sword proved increasingly ineffective. 

Felix stepped into the opening, tangling up their daggers, twisting and turning before Ashe could react. He got Ashe's arm turned around behind his back. Felix tossed his sword aside, gripping Ashe by the hair to pull his head back and expose his throat. Felix's dagger kept Ashe's under control even as it pressed into Ashe's back. 

Felix hesitated. 

Ashe's breaths were labored. He'd pushed himself past his endurance to keep pace. Felix could smell a familiar, warm scent in the sweat at Ashe's neck. A part of him desperately wanted to reach his lips down and find out if he tasted like he did in his memories, but he resisted. 

"Why you?" he said at Ashe's ear, hiding his face against silver hair. 

"Because you'd go too far if it was me," Ashe said. 

Felix snapped his eyes open, standing up straighter. On every side, he was alone. The troops he'd led against the western flank of Dimitri's army were long gone, pushed back by the blue-clad soldiers on every side. Felix found himself completely surrounded and deep past enemy lines. 

Felix trembled with self-hatred, loathing, fear, rage, betrayal. Ashe released his dagger, not bothering to fight Felix's hold. Felix moved his dagger from his back to his throat. 

"You knew," Felix said. "The whole time." 

"Yeah."

"He sent you here to die," Felix said. "Can't you see? Don't you understand what you're doing by following him? He threw away your life."

"We had to stop you," Ashe said. 

"No," Felix said.

Dimitri's troops were closing in around them. An arrow whistled, thudding into Felix's back. He gasped and gritted his teeth, but did not loosen his hold on Ashe. Rather, he shifted his grip, hugging Ashe against him, his knife poised over Ashe's heart. 

It was getting harder to breathe, but Felix locked his knees. Ashe held onto his arm. Felix slumped forward as his body shuddered in pain, coughing blood against Ashe's shoulder. Ashe tilted his head back against Felix's, reaching a hand up to stroke his hair. 

A second arrow pierced through his back. Blood flooded his lungs. He was drowning inside his own body. His grasp on Ashe tightened like the chain dragging them both to their deaths. 

"You killed me," Felix choked. Blood dribbled out of his mouth.

"I'm sorry," Ashe said. 

Felix spat a red laugh against Ashe's shoulder. "Well fought." 

He used the last of his strength to drive his knife through Ashe's chest. Ashe's grip tightened to strangling on Felix's arm. Then, there was nothing left in either of them. 

They collapsed to the ground. Distantly, Felix heard Dimitri's troops closing in. He choked for breath, but found only more blood blocking up his throat. Ashe convulsed against him. 

_Teach me how to be a knight._

Is this what Ashe had imagined? Is this the glory he'd longed for?

Felix cast off the unworthy thought. He would not spend his dying breath forcing such pettiness on Ashe. 

_Teach me how to be a knight._

_Why?_

_So I can help people._

_Swords can't help. They can only kill. You can't help anyone that way._

His body ached for air. The bolts in his back burned. His vision turned dark around the edges. The body Felix held had gone still in his arms and he eagerly followed. 

_I can try._

**Author's Note:**

> [Ducky's beautiful, heart-wrenching fan art of the ending <3 <3 <3](https://twitter.com/QDucky9S/status/1197554356633194496?s=20)
> 
> I love this prompt. I really angsted over how to end this. I hope it's a satisfying conclusion to this sad little tale. Also, yes, I know sword and dagger is pretty impractical on a battlefield, but I once learned this technique and it does feel very intimate in the right context. It's also just a cool defense, especially for two fighters who aren't going to be the tallest people on the battlefield. 
> 
> I'm on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/purplebookcover) (18+ please)!
> 
> I respond to every comment. Thank you, friends!


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